Ok! I am back and hav ing a gripe!
You'd be thinking that at my age, I would be able to speak my mind and feel empowered with in my decision but NO! It doesn;t appear that way and frankly I am getting jack of it. You know! I m grown man and it's not enough that I have totally dis empowered at work, it happens in my private life as well.
It would seem that I can't have an opinion, I can't do something my way, the way that I have grown up doing with no problem, but now it's not right or I have to do something someone elses way or Im made to feel like Im a bastard and doing everything wrong.
My self esteme is totally fucked because of the fact I have to go along with everyone elses decision or opinion. Is it any wonder that I don't feel like doing anything or going anywhere or seeing people? Fuck, once apon a time I felt excepted by my friends and family, they totally accepted who I was and am. Now! I can't say a word because Im wrong! Get fucked! It's always a bloody fight to have my veiws listened to and the biggest part is allowing my decision to be made and have people go along with my decision once in awhile.
God forbid if I don't listen to other peoples veiws, I'm the worst person in the world then.
You know! I miss my old life where I had friends that accepted me for who I was and not what people wanted me to be. Am I unhappy!? Yes! absolutely and why wouldn't I be? when I have been so disempowered and not listened too I don't want to see anyone anymore.
I have good intuision and Im never allowed to go with it because other people want something done their way and Im made to feel like an idiot.
I know this is abit of a whinge but I don't give a shit! It's my blog and thats what they are for so I can write what I want and not have people make me feel like Im wrong or it should be this way or that way.
I just want to be respected in my opinion like I once was. Do I wonder what the fuck Im doing hanging around sometimes? Hell yeah! and it's no wonder. Sometimes I feel it would be so much easier being somewhere far away by myself. What ever happened to my life when I enjoyed it and now it is trying to find something to enjoy!
Like I said! Im rabbling and this will probably make no sence in a week but I deserve to be respected like anyone else. No pics today! I don't feel like it.